Insider Scoop: Rain Custom of the Natives of Montreal

In a land where precipitation occurs trop souvent, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 1:00 PM when I must trek up a hill to get to my class in the Stewart Biology Building (not exaggerating), I have observed that natives use a protective shade on a stick that they fondly call "paraplouie," or "umbrella" to block the rain. It seems that there is an assortment of these umbrellas which range in size, shape, color, and design. From my observations, I have determined that these natives have attributed great cultural significance to their rain attire and umbrellas. I believe they act as status symbols. An umbrella with rows of "CCCCCCCCCCCC" seems to indicate wealth -- or at least, American obnoxiousness.

Whoever you are, I hope you don't mind that I took a picture of you with your adorable umbrella.

Social Psychology: Dealing with Bad Breath

If you are talking to someone with bad breath:

So freaking valuable...oh, and my TI-89.

1) Exit the conversation. (Yeah, I can write another whole post on the "how-tos" of exiting.)

2) Ask if he/she would like a piece of gum...insist by exaggerating the positive side effects of the gum. "No, thank you." "Oh, please, it'll make your boobs grow bigger/muscles jack up."

3) Create a radius of 5ft distance. Excuse? You have a highly contagious disease. (Good excuse for exiting conversations as well)

4) If of the opposite sex, you can always leave for the washroom and just stay there for a while...or escape through another door/window if that desperate.

Tired...pho' real.

I've been swamped. I made a beautiful time sheet that is filled with blocks of study time and eating time and shower time and more eating time and sleeping time and you know, an occasional class.

In the meanwhile, you can look at this beautiful picture of pho that I had for the first time in Chinatown on Saturday! It's so delish.

ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS MORE FOLLOWERS.

To whom it may concern:

Today is my 18^th birthday – which means I can legally drink alcohol at school events, though not in my hometown.

Caption: What I can legally buy from Provigo...

But more importantly, it means I can use Google Adsense.

…I know ads are unattractive. No one more than I is aware of the blemish that I am willing to smash across the face of my blog (say what?). But I have to tell you that…in all honesty, this was one of my original intentions.

One day in late July, as I watched TV and drooled on a couch while dying of sweat from the disgusting climate of northern New Jersey in the summer, I thought to myself that I should really try to make money to pay for school and that the “easiest” way to do so was to start a blog since I like to write and I like talking about myself. Fat chance I was going to get a short-term job (no one replies to me, tear tear) and I knew wouldn’t be able to work (off-campus) in Canada without studying here for at least 6 months first.

Tuition as an international student is significantly greater than that of a Canadian, and even greater in comparison to the tuition of a lucky Quebecois, though still considerably less than the tuition of a private liberal arts college in the U.S. But it’s easier to get financial aid from a private LAC in the US.

And it’s not a particularly good time to burden my family with college bills. The whole situation, I’ll leave unsaid. Despite what seems to be my lack of self-sacrifice for my family, I…may…actually…ahem, care give a damn about them. My pride or something-or-other gets in the way of that a lot. There are times when I’ll feel like washing the dishes just to unburden my parents of one chore (ooh big deal, shut up, it is), but I will never volunteer myself without first having been solicited. And if I do the dishes, I’ll do them when my parents aren’t looking. It’s weird. I don’t want them to know or something. Anyway, I want to lift the burden a little by having income.

Yeah, I’m a dreamer, but I do hope I will make more than a few cents with this blog. If I can cover any part of my tuition, hey meal plan, that’s a shitload of money that can go towards increasing their standard of living, and of my sisters’. …Or more realistically, if I can cover a daily cup of coffee or some dress I want to buy, then it’s a cup of coffee or dress or whatever that doesn’t go on the family credit card. Okay…fine, if I can buy a can of soup a month…that’s a can of soup that my parents didn’t pay for…

But for that to happen, I really need you. And that’s why, for my birthday, I’m asking for followers, and I’m asking for an audience. I’m sorry that I have to violate this space with advertisements, but I’ll try to make them unobtrusive. And in all honesty, who really notices them anyway?

Fondly,

J. McGillee

P.S. I'm extremely proud of the fact that my birthday is the Autumn Equinox and this year, it falls the day after the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival/Moon Festival--yay for mooncake--as well.

Caption: downtown Montreal from campus...Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! Look at the moon!

P.P. S. As you've noticed, I have delusions of grandeur...but what writer (or blogger) would continue writing without such delusions?

Science of Lecture Hall Seating

Sorry for late post. I have to pretend I have a life by not updating consistently. Updating consistently obviously demonstrates that I have nothing better to do than to write blog posts and doesn't demonstrate that I am a responsible and well-organized person.

From my short time here at McGill that is actually spent in class -- spent mostly in the impersonal confines of Leacock 132, I have learned much from...what the prof is saying (of course...) and from having the freedom of choosing where to sit.

It's the small things like choosing where to sit in lecture halls that people never tell you about college. And it's the small things about cultures that give them distinct personalities. I think that's why it's so difficult to learn culture from history books and much easier to learn from cultural fiction or from anecdotal history...but that's a little off-track.

Anyway, I've decided to share with y'all what I've learned so far about seating choice:

1. Sit behind people with Macbooks because the time is conveniently displayed in the top-right corner.

2. Don't sit behind someone playing a game or watching videos...you will start watching.

3. Do sit next to the attractive, potential future "study" buddy -- and get his (or her) number.

4. Look down to make sure no one left a carton of open chocolate milk beneath the seat.

5. Also check that there is a writing desk. Some of the Leacock 132 seats don't have writing desks just because they were broken and never replaced. And if you're a lefty, like me, get the aisle seat.

6. You have to know how to maximize the comfort of choosing an aisle seat. If you get to class early and choose an aisle seat before the row is filled, you are going to get up five-million times while everyone else fills the row. If you come too late, the aisle seats will be taken. Good luck with your timing. I'm sure it's a function of preference of aisle seats/total number in class, number of minutes it takes to get to seats, etc., etc.

7. Come much earlier for better seat selection (if seat selection is that important to you) if you know there's no class before your class. If there is a class before your class, you'll have to wait outside the room with the other 30-750 students in your class. 30's not so bad. 750 is.

Self-diagnosis: I like to sit in the side-seats of the center rows of the center section for 1) easy exit access and 2) central view of PPT and professor. I seem to select for older students because I've met a disproportionate number of U3 students -- which makes me sad because those are the people I like and they're all graduating. Yes, I admit, most of the ones I talk to are guys because girls are scary and I have lower expectations of guys. Ageist and sexist, eh? (<-- Hah! See what I did there for all you Americans...)

Bathrooms 101

Uh. I have lots to say, but I'm not in the mood to write it all out, so I'll just write a quick post on public toilets...which I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about later on.

1. Public restrooms are known as "washrooms."

2. Leacock & Stewart Bio & Brown Student Center bathrooms have weak automatic hand dryers. It'll take an eternity to dry your hands. I'll let you know about the other buildings if I ever "go" in them.

3. Did you know that 59% of people check email from the bathroom? Yeah, seriously, check it out.

4. There's a bathroom stall that I will take a picture of and {PLACE HERE} -- when I remember to.

Let's Address the Word "Uncensored"

1. Knowing that people I know and that McGillians read my blog makes me very self-conscious, and thus, self-censored. If I say something like I think I have a thing for Egyptians, then I'll scare away every single Egyptian I've met. Strangers are dangerous, not scary. And so, I like the anonymity that comes in a relationship between a blog writer and a reader not acquainted with the writer.

2. "Uncensored" makes my blog sound very dangerous and I have a very non-scandalous, and yes, dare I say, boring life.

3. I don't want to be honest to the point which jeopardizes my relationship with others or causes trouble because 1) I'm a pansy and scared shitless of not being "good" 2) I like leaving a bit of myself to those who I can truly be intimate with (in a close friend sort of way). I'm not going to bitch and moan about other people except in the privacy of my own journal. See here -- fired bloggers.

4. I'm too lazy to actually dig up content that makes this blog exciting. This blog is about my life, and it's here for me to vent in. I'm not going to become some undercover journalist who exposes the corruptions and scandals in bureaucracy and life at McGill. It sounds exciting in theory, but like I said, pansy, scared shitless, and lazy.

5. I just like ending in 5 points. Oh, and, at least I'm being honest about my lack of transparency instead of pretending to increase transparency...AHEM COUGH. I'm not political.

Where should I begin?

I've tried very hard to start several posts this week, but I have so much to say, and so little ability to organize it all into coherent, well-thought out blog posts.

But since, the longer I wait before posting, the more overwhelmed I am with new experiences, I figure I should pause somewhere and get some of it out in my random incoherent bits.

Classes began on Wednesday September 1st-- so the first week of school is essentially three days. To further pad my transition to university, Labor Day is Monday -- so next school week is four days. I was pretty happy with my classes and when they were. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my first class is at 2:35. I figured I would like this schedule because I had always woken up past respectable hours when I had been at home...but ever since arriving to Montreal, I've been able to wake up (without an alarm!) between 7:50AM and 8:30AM.

I love the mornings here because the streets are never empty. People are already rushing around, walking briskly, holding the paper and their morning coffees in their hands. Cars are already lined up at stoplights where people anxiously wait to cross.

And nights don't end until 3AM either. If I choose to do so, I could be at any number of lounges or clubs or bars or restaurants.

This is such an amazing city...and it has so much more to share. I haven't explored very much of it yet, but having tasted it, I want more. It's kind of like entering your favorite restaurant with an empty stomach. You take in the aroma and the general atmosphere, and you can't stop yourself from drooling at the thought of that dish -- the one that convinces you we live to eat, not eat to live -- in front you.

This seems to be a post on the blander/more serious side, but I think it's because I am still in a state of shock and hit by a stun gun of *NEW* and my personality has not truly rooted here yet. I am still numb and overwhelmed from information overload and just having learned so much (socially) and changed so much within a week -- a week that feels much longer than it was. I know because I check the mail all the time, assuming that I will receive something, but then realizing that it was probably only sent out a few days ago. A few days? Every single day has been brand new.

Anyway, I should probably head down to class...I will update more consistently as soon as I learn how to be efficient (wait a couple hundred years).